Commentary to Art. 339 of the Criminal Code
1. The objective side is expressed by inaction - evasion. However, the methods of such evasion are characterized by the commission of active actions, the list of which is established by law.
Feigning a disease should be understood as a false portrayal of a disease or its individual symptoms by a person who does not suffer from the disease, or a deliberate exaggeration of the signs of an existing disease.
Self-harm is deliberate artificial damage to various organs or tissues of the body, disruption of their functioning.
Forgery of documents consists of entering deliberately false information into documents, correcting them in ways that do not correspond to reality (intellectual falsification of documents), as well as producing an initially false document (physical falsification).
Other deception involves reporting any false information (active deception) or concealing any essential information (passive deception) about circumstances the existence of which allows a person not to perform military service duties (for example, about circumstances that grant the right to a deferment from conscription).
2. The duration of evasion of military service duties does not matter for the completed crime. The composition is completed from the moment the evasion begins.
3. The subject of the crime is a military serviceman performing military service under conscription or contract. Along with him, the perpetrator of this crime may be another person who, at the request of a serviceman, causes harm to the latter’s health or forges a document. In this case, the criminal actions of such a person are subject to qualification under a set of crimes as aiding in evasion and a corresponding crime against the person (for example, provided for in Article 111 or 112 of the Criminal Code) or the order of management (Article 327 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).
Acquaintance
Self-harm is the infliction of various injuries and injuries to oneself. In other words, a person takes a number of actions regarding himself, the ultimate goal of which is to harm his own health. This also includes deliberate stay in conditions in which an exacerbation of an existing disease will occur. Self-harm is an extreme measure practiced by draft dodgers in the army. In places not so remote, prisoners often injure themselves. This category of citizens in this way seeks to improve their living conditions.
Second commentary to Art. 339 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation
1. The article provides for criminal liability for temporary (Part 1) and permanent (Part 2) evasion from military service committed by causing harm to one’s health (self-mutilation), feigning illness, forgery of documents or other deception.
2. Self-harm is artificial injury to various organs or tissues of the body. Causing harm to health can be carried out in various ways: with a firearm or knives, etc. Harm to health can be caused either by the perpetrator himself or, at his request, by another person.
3. Feigning an illness involves attributing to oneself non-existent diseases or physical disabilities, or deliberately exaggerating the signs of an existing disease (deafness, blindness, etc.).
4. In case of evasion by forgery of documents, a serviceman provides the relevant commander (chief) with a document forged by himself or at his request by another person and on this basis receives permanent or temporary exemption from all or some of the duties of military service.
5. Other deception means the communication of deliberately false information about events and facts for the specified purposes.
6. From the subjective side, the crime is committed with direct intent and with the aim of permanently or temporarily evading the duties of military service.
7. If a serviceman pursued the goal of temporary release from military service duties, his actions are subject to qualification under Part 1 of Art. 339. If the goal of the perpetrator was complete exemption from military service, his responsibility comes under Part 2 of this article.
8. The subject of the crime is a conscript or contract soldier, or a citizen in the reserve called up for military training.
9. A person who intentionally causes harm to the health of a serviceman at his request is subject to liability under the corresponding article of the chapter of the Criminal Code on crimes against life and health.
The most common way
Due to the fact that the nature of the formation of cuts will be difficult to explain, many prefer to “mow” through fractures. Most often they break their hands. There is a misconception among ordinary people that it is possible to perform injuries painlessly. All you need to do is take anesthesia. Next, they hit the wall with their hand or drop some heavy object onto their limb.
However, according to experts, in most cases such attempts end in failure. The fact is that the instinct of self-preservation is triggered first. You cannot achieve the expected effect with Analgin or Paracetamol, since these drugs are weak. You can't break an arm without pain. Premonition and fear, fortunately, stop many from committing rash acts.
What is the problem with self-harm or self-harm?
Today we will talk about the topic of self-harm or self-harm. I know what is it. Because I have a history of self-harm. My addiction to this lasted 17 years. So I understand a little bit about both sides of this coin.
The structure of our meeting will be like the letter "U" - for the first 40 minutes we will go down and down, down and down - what self-harm is, how people start doing it, what role does self-harm play. So if during this time you feel depressed, don’t worry – it’s part of the plan. Halfway through our meeting we will turn and go up to show how people can get out of this state of self-harm and into freedom.
We may often encounter cases of self-harm. It's in the news, you read about it in biographies of famous people, when celebrities talk about their struggles with it. You may not have even suspected that some people, such as actor Johnny Depp and Olympic athlete Kelly Holmes, are revealing some details about their struggles with self-harm. You can read a lot about this on the Internet, where the issue of self-harm is raised. Although sometimes they write about it, as if encouraging people to do it.
There are many people in our churches who struggle with self-harm. But statistics do not provide clear and specific figures. The real picture is hidden. But it is believed that about 13% of children 11-16 years old try and harm themselves in one way or another. What we can be sure of is the statistics on the number of cases treated in A&E over the last 2 years. The number of children 10-14 years old increased by 70%.
This is not just a teenager's issue. If you work with adults, one in three adults who seek mental health services also have a history of personal injury. They may not seek psychological help precisely because of self-harm; it may only be a concomitant phenomenon. And there is definitely a person in the church who struggles with this or has struggled in the past. This is quite a common occurrence today.
Therefore, we should understand this issue, what self-harm is, what role it plays in people's lives.
Self-harm is the deliberate infliction of physical pain or injury on oneself in order to satisfy some emotional need (and provide relief) - usually in hidden ways, always in ways that affect spiritual health.
We will explain to you what this definition means in practice. What types of self-harm have you encountered in your ministry? Either with adults or with children. In what ways have people harmed themselves?
Cuts . Probably the most common form of self-harm that comes to mind.
Hitting yourself or punching a wall. Pinching, biting, hair pulling. Piercing the skin with sharp objects, or driving something under the skin. Burns. A huge number of examples can be given.
Self-harm includes anything that can cause us physical harm, done on purpose. It may be strange to look at such a list, considering that we are trying, on the contrary, to get rid of pain, and not to look for how to inflict this pain on ourselves. And we should have a huge heart for such people, trying to help them in their struggle with self-harm.
You may look at this list and not understand why people allow such actions. But let's be honest and understand why self-harm happens.
Since we're all Christians here, we all know some good ways to deal with stress. You know, that state when you come home from work, after a hard day, your head is about to boil... And we know that the best way is to pray, read Scripture, receive encouragement from a brother or sister in Christ, remember the sermon. Personally, I make cakes. As an option. I know that cakes do not have a spiritual creative meaning or any such qualities. I know this won't change my situation. And I know that doctors have already told me about my high cholesterol levels so that I don’t eat cakes and cookies. But I sometimes do things that are bad for me when I'm stressed. Even though I know it won't help me. But if you eat a cookie, cake, or something like that on your way home, don't think that you're engaging in self-harm. That's not what I'm talking about here.
Although we should know that there are times when we realize that it will not do us any good during times of stress. But we also understand that when people do something, it only harms them. Sometimes it can be the most ordinary routine things that we do day after day.
Although this is self-abuse, it is not mindless self-abuse. There are real reasons why people engage in self-harm.
There are 4 main functions that self-harm performs in a person’s life:
- punishment;
- cleansing;
- control;
- sensation.
I will try to explain these functions in very simple words. I hope you are all wise enough to understand that life is much fluffier than I am going to tell you about it now. Let's look at these functions one by one.
Punishment. Self-harm as a form of self-punishment. Each of us is accustomed to the idea that if we have done something bad, we must be punished for it. For example, if you are a two-year-old who took his brother's toys, you may be put in a corner. Or you are in school and you told the teacher that your homework was eaten by a dog, although you only have a goldfish, you will also be punished. You were speeding on the road, you were caught on camera, and you will receive a fine. That is, we know that when we break the rules or the law, there must be a punishment after that.
But it happens that you have done something illegal, or you feel that you are doing something wrong, but they understand that there is no punishment. They feel inside themselves that justice has not come. You understand the whole situation that made you feel guilty. It happens that someone offended you, but you also feel guilty about it. And when they hit themselves or otherwise punish themselves, that feeling of guilt is suppressed a little. Because they immediately feel that justice has prevailed. And they calm down a little. Self-punishment can be a pretty powerful way to harm yourself.
Cleansing. A good example is a balloon.
I think everyone knows that feeling when the pressure builds and builds and builds inside us. These are the emotions that bubble up in us and around us. You feel that moment when everything in life goes wrong, everything accumulates and accumulates - work, family, health. And then, following the example of this ball, we have three options.
The first is to simply lose, to leave control over it all until everything resolves itself one way or another. But often we don’t want to lose or give up control over our lives.
The second way - some people think this is the only possible option - is to explode in anger. “So I’ll show them what it’s like for me, it’s all their fault, yes, I’ll scream and swear, and it doesn’t matter to me whether I offend someone with this or not.” This is a response to the pressure that is growing in our lives. But for many this option is unacceptable. You may have done this before, but you can't do it anymore.
The third way is when people can harm themselves. You don't actually get rid of the pressure inside. You make a small “hole” in the body so that the pressure gradually releases. This is quite symbolic. Through this “hole” you give an outlet to all the negative things that you have inside. But not everything comes out, just a small stream of air. When perhaps blood drips out after a cut, something bad comes out with it. Or at least that's the thought.
Of course, this cannot continue for long. This is not a solution that can last long. Because self-harming also makes you feel guilty and ashamed, and you self-harm again. And this way you will never get to the point where the balloon is empty because it keeps building up this pressure.
Yes, it may work some of the time, but I in no way condone or encourage self-harm in any form. But sometimes you may feel as if what was bothering you, now you have finally gotten rid of it. But this is an act of control, and this type of self-cleaning is not suitable for everyone.
Control. Perhaps the young person feels like everything is out of his control: everyone is telling him what to do - teachers, youth leaders, parents, coach, and then they come to church on Sunday and God tells them what to do. We know that God is not telling us to do anything bad. But they feel like they have lost control of their lives. There is always someone who tells them how to behave, how they should think, act. It's like they're puppets. Therefore, self-harm can be a kind of recovery. They say that if they cannot control what happens around them, they can control their skin, for example. I can't control my life, but I can control it by doing something with my body. I need something I can control.
Feeling. Or suppressing sensations if you don't want to feel pain. You are taking painkillers. Or creating sensations, that is, you do something to get these sensations. It may be terrible, but it's better than not feeling anything at all. Because we don’t like that state when we don’t feel anything at all.
So, self-punishment, self-purification, self-control, self-awareness (creation or suppression). Four main ways, 4 functions of self-harm.
When a person struggles, it is worth it. These are all ways to harm yourself - only for a short time, but they can bring relief from what is happening.
Sometimes this all happens hidden. But sometimes self-flagellation attracts the attention of others. And apparently, when someone first talks about self-harm, it's like they're waving a flag about what they've done. But in reality, everything is not like that. There are many other easier and less painful ways to get attention than self-harm. This is when we take control of our emotions, our life. This is what affects our spiritual health.
You can be a Christian and harm yourself. But this is not the path God intended for you. The Lord Jesus has already suffered all the punishment on the cross, He died on the cross for us, we do not need to punish ourselves. He made all our sins whiter than snow, He cleansed us. How can we cleanse ourselves? If Jesus is the most powerful King and the wisest leader, there is no point in us taking control of our lives. And if Jesus called us to life, to the fullness of life, as it says in John. 10:10, then we do not need to create or suppress sensations in our lives. There is a better way. The path is for Christ, who can satisfy the real pain that leads people to harm themselves.
It's also worth noting that self-harm and attempted suicide are not the same thing. They may be similar. And if you are an emergency doctor, sometimes you have to treat these cases in a similar way. If someone has swallowed pills or is badly cut, they need to be washed and stitched. But in terms of goals, they differ significantly. In a suicide attempt, a person wants to take his own life. Anyone who inflicts bodily harm on himself is trying to move on with his life. They are trying to move on with their lives. This is self-destruction, allowing them to keep the chaos they have in their lives under control in order to move on with their lives. They don't give up. Such people can harm themselves for a long time, and realizing that this leads nowhere, they can come to the conclusion of suicide. But in most cases, such people still cling to life. And that's good news.
Let's look at how people come to self-harm. It is very important to understand why people do this. Why do they come to such terrible actions. There are three factors that are common to all. Everyone's story will be different, everyone will have their own emphasis. There is no standard way. But there are common features.
First. People have been affected by a painful situation in their lives. It could be bullying at school, physical violence from parents, sexual abuse, it could be upbringing when you have to be perfect in everything - in school, at work. And often the child feels that he cannot be so perfect. And they are doomed to constant failure. And here the pain often remains. Pain from violence, from bullying. This is not the only factor. Because if only pain would lead people to harm themselves, then most would do it even among us. There must be other factors.
Second. Wrong beliefs about God, ourselves and the world that our pain convinces us of. We will now read three passages in different voices. In a soft, sweet voice; as if God were speaking; and in a slightly mean voice. We will read them in front of the mirror.
The Bible tells us to look at the words of Scripture as if we were looking at a mirror. James says that we look to the Scriptures to see our true selves. And if we take a brief look at what we are, what kind of people we are, it will sound something like this. When we say this, we look at ourselves in a white mirror, which reflects God's gaze on us.
“You are in God’s image, you are loved immensely by the Creator of the universe, who knows what you need most is forgiveness of sins, reconciliation with Him, modesty.”
And this is what we wish people to know about themselves. We don't want to be naive. We are sinners. But we also don't want to be depressed. We are in God's image, we are valuable in His eyes. We are His adopted children, beloved, chosen, changed, longing for heaven, etc.
As Christians, we keep our focus on this mirror. No one, of course, can always be perfect, but our goal is to be as God sees us.
But sometimes culture has a slightly different view. Sometimes in the cultural environment this is distorted towards an overly touching view of ourselves. It's like a pink Barbie doll mirror. It completely distorts the meaning of what is happening.
"You `re incredible! You are wonderful! You are perfect just the way you are! Your struggle is not your fault! Never change! Always be true to yourself!”
Sometimes the world wants us to see ourselves as perfect and don't need to change. Often these people don't suffer from self-harm, but they have a whole host of other things that they struggle with.
But people who look at themselves in a dark mirror understand that they are losers, they cannot win anything, that their body is not ideal. There is a clear distortion of reality.
“You are a useless person. Nobody will love you. You pathetic worm. What’s the point of you being on this earth!”
And these words can influence such people day after day. Water wears away stones. Even if they have a wonderful Christian family that prays for them, spends time with them, they go to a wonderful church. But one day, when a moment of pain comes, their gaze turns to this mirror. And when the pain intensifies, their gaze is drawn to this mirror, they hear these words, they begin to truly believe that they are useless, that no one values them.
Of course, when you believe that you are a valuable child of God who longs for eternity, forgiveness will be difficult for you to harm yourself. But if you firmly believe that you are nobody, it is so easy to harm yourself.
So, when people decide to harm themselves, they experience a deep sense of pain. Because of this, they begin to harm themselves. They begin to think about themselves, about God, about the world around them, that everything is unfair, everything is wrong. That their whole life is down the drain.
You see someone doing something that supposedly helps them, and you try to try it too. What do you have to lose? If it helps celebrities, if they write about it on the Internet, why not try it? And when it brings a little relief, and then another and another, you realize that maybe this is the way out. And self-harm becomes part of your life. For some it lasts several days, weeks, and then it all stops. And someone becomes addicted to it. It took me 17 years before I finally managed to get rid of it. This is not exactly a chemical addiction, although it does produce endorphin, which leads to some kind of addiction. And psychologically it is an addiction. And it was important for me to do this, to harm myself, to cut myself, and not to go with friends, or do something else. And of course it takes all your attention, it’s difficult for you to switch to something else. And only if you calm down a little can you continue your normal life.
Can there be an innate predisposition to self-harm? Yes, in general there may be a genetic predisposition to this kind of struggle. In general, children from an early age begin to respond, react to the pressure they feel, they can notice a lot of what is happening around them. And if parents were prone to self-harm, this can be passed on to their children. And we need to talk about this.
As for gluttony, yes, this is also a form of self-harm. Some will say that this is complete nonsense, which is completely different. But here we can draw a certain parallel, in particular with regard to anorexia, for example.
Self-harm is a phenomenon that has been around for over 2,000 years, so this is nothing new. There was a time when the church even approved of self-flagellation among monks (mortification), and it was quite normal, and it was part of church history. Of course, this did not quite happen as we see it now. Nowadays a lot is written on the Internet, and young people follow this and fall into such traps. Sometimes people find about this on the Internet, but before that they didn’t even know about this type of stress management.
As for subcultures and their influence on this phenomenon, I think it’s worth talking about the broader influence of such subcultures in general. They are looking for ways to attract attention. These are Goths, these are different nationalist groups. Among such groups, self-harm can occur en masse, simultaneously. This will be considered as a kind of ritual, joining the group. This is attracting attention to yourself. The question must be asked: what led a person to the fact that he wants to be among these people, a member of this group?
If we are talking, for example, about schools, then this is also a certain subgroup. And of course, teenagers usually look at each other, compare themselves with each other, and the influence is enormous. They try to learn from each other what influences them in one way or another. You do what your friends do, especially if you spend a lot of time together.
So we move on and we will rise up and we will search and find out what the real hope is for people who are struggling. The exciting thing is that there must always be hope in biblical counseling. One day I was told that I had to come to terms with my situation, that it would be like this all the time. I had severe depression. But it’s very good that it made me very angry. I wanted to prove the opposite. And this was exactly the turning point for me.
There may be a feeling here that if self-harm has passed a certain point, then you are just stuck at that point. And it happens that people struggle with this all their lives. And God does not guarantee complete healing to everyone who just struggles with this. The God we see in the Bible is a God of hope, a God of change. No one should remain in one place, one must move in order to be transformed into the image of Christ, to move towards freedom.
And I want us to understand three things before we move on.
This is an important trio that we cannot do without in pastoral care.
So first , boundaries. My suggestion is that if you work with teenagers, make sure you have a child advocacy policy in your church when it comes to self-harm. So that there is a person responsible for this issue. To know who to talk to and what to do next. When you have someone under pastoral care who is still a minor, when and in what cases should you definitely tell your parents and let them know. This needs to be discussed in the church so that such a situation does not take you by surprise.
There should also be reasonable boundaries regarding when you can be contacted. Never say the phrase “You can call at any time.” Never. It's better to say, “Email me any time. When I have the opportunity, I will answer.”
Second. This is not even discussed. Supporting people who self-harm must include the Bible. We think we should use the Bible in preaching, in Bible study, in one-on-one conversations. But in conversations with people who are struggling with sin, there must be a Bible, people must hear what God says through His word. We can say how much we love this or that person, but he must hear what God tells him about it. Such a person needs this proof. When he hears it from Scripture, it helps him to be more persistent in his struggle. We find the truth there.
Well, the third point. Never conduct counseling without hippos. Seriously. Have you read the story of Job? At the end of the book (chap. 39-40) Job tells God what is this all about? And God's answer is vast and very poetic. God speaks about different animals and birds. And the main one was the fragment about the hippopotamus. Can YOU create a hippopotamus here and now? But GOD can! Therefore, we need to point people to God, who can do everything. God tells us “You cannot create a hippopotamus. Only Me!” Point people to the Creator of hippopotamuses. You can use magnets, small figures with a hippopotamus, just as a sign, a symbol that God is stronger. This is my reminder to myself that I can't do everything. But we need to point people to someone who can, to the Savior.
Now we are talking about four basic elements that we must keep in mind. Let's look at how we can help someone get out of this self-harm addiction.
So, let's imagine. Andrey (for example, this can be a man or a woman - your choice) 19 years old. Working at the store 6 days a week, Andrei has some financial independence, but still lives at home with his father, who suffered years of verbal and sometimes physical abuse. Andrei is loved at work, but he does not cope well with clients. When the complaints come, Andrei goes into the storage room and delivers blow after blow to his arm.
Let's discuss a few issues. What kind of pain does he have to go through? What could be his wrong beliefs? What function might self-harm serve in his life? Let's assume some options. Of course, we cannot draw complete conclusions from the brief information we have. But when you first interact with someone with a similar problem, you also don't have a lot of information about their life. And sometimes we need to find out more information from the people around them. Well, we cannot start from scratch without having any information at all. So based on what we have, we make some assumptions about what might be going on in their lives.
So we can say he is verbally and physically abused at home, he works 6 days a week, it wears him out. He lives at home. And here is the moment that he cannot help but be where he does not want to be. It causes serious pain too.
And he doesn't quite do the job either. This also happens. Everyone experiences this at work. If we are talking about a store, there may not be very adequate customers. I am the same buyer when they do something differently than I ordered, for example.
So, Andrey has enough pain in his life. And he often thinks that there is something wrong with him, something wrong with the world, something wrong with God. What's going on in his head? Which of his beliefs are wrong? They don't like him. They don't like it. In this situation, there is absolutely no question about the mother: where is she, what happened to her, why is she not in Andrei’s life. There is clearly a lack of maternal factor here.
From this description, we see that he deserves punishment; when he does something wrong at work, he seems to pay for his shortcomings. As for violence, he is subjected to both physical and verbal. The first rarely goes without the second. Emotional abuse also has a strong impact on a person.
He may also feel that he is not a worthy son, that he has no value in this world, as a child, as an employee, etc. And he can't control his emotions until he goes into the storage room to hurt himself.
Therefore, we must always turn our gaze to God as our heavenly Father. But there are situations when parents offend children, it is difficult for children to perceive God, to look at Him from the position of a child, because his own parents offend him. And this leads to the fact that the child begins to harm himself, thus seeming to atone for his guilt. And when something goes wrong at work, what needs to be done? Cleanse yourself.
Let's now see how we can help Andrey?
The Love, Know, Say, Do framework below is based on the work of Paul Tripp in his book Tools in the Hands of the Redeemer.
We must take these steps one after another when we need to help a person and support him.
I'm not saying that they will work instantly and give an instant effect. But by doing this, we create an environment where people can grow in the grace of God with love, wisdom, kindness, in Biblical teaching.
So, first thing. Love.
We must show Sam that God loves him. So that he really understands this. Because sometimes there is a disagreement between what we preach and how we live. I hope this doesn't concern you and me. Sometimes we can hear words in a sermon that we are forgiven, that everything is so good, we sang a hymn, thanked God, and then we come home and think how stupid we are and so on. I can't believe this, I will never forgive myself for this, etc. And you look at God from the point of view of the Old Testament or the Gospel, you see the power of Jesus or Heavenly Father, you pray, but something incomprehensible happens inside you. And people who harm themselves often have this discrepancy between what they hear and what happens to them in their lives.
In such cases, you need to try to choose a verse from the Bible that resonates with you, your condition, can give you peace of mind for the pain that is in you, a word that replaces those wrong beliefs, and just think about it for at least 20 minutes a week. You can share these verses with your friends. Let these Bible verses take root in your mind. May they shine on you every day. Words of comfort from the Bible can inspire you, give you hope, apply them in your life as often as possible.
So, as counselors, you show compassion to people whose hearts are broken. I don't know how it is with you. Is your church open, are people open. It is very good when people in the church understand that they are weak. And it’s good when the church doesn’t have a miracle in the parking lot. This is a situation where a family gathers for church on Sunday morning. Everyone is running around in the morning, some are stuck in the bathroom, some don’t want to get up, someone needs to take the dog for a walk, but no one wants to, everyone is shouting at each other... and when they arrive at church and the car doors open, everyone calms down, goes into church, greet each other, say how perfect everything is and how good everything is. This is the reality that exists in churches. There should be openness and you should talk about it in the church as well. I used to go to church and I was just disappointed because no one was real. And they told me to “play” too. But it doesn't have to be that way.
I came to biblical counseling through extremely difficult situations. I went to rehab three times for three different addictions – alcohol, food, and self-harm. When I give my testimony about this, people come up to me afterwards and say that they are struggling with pornography, with food addiction, with various other problems. And people are happy to be real. We need churches where people are open and can share with each other even during the week. Who will show love.
In order for the church not to be unfounded, you must be together with each other, spend time together having coffee, talking about football, sharing what the sermon was about. We can discuss this in small groups. If you have pastors here, don't let your church go without small groups during the week. Be practical so that what is stated in the sermon has a practical implementation in life.
There is a book called Webster. The preacher duck." It's a picture book about a duck who goes to church and he keeps wanting to fly. But when she returns home, she immediately quickly goes to bet on where she likes to swim. Therefore, our words and desires should not differ from our actions.
You need to be a loving counselor. Do not panic. Love people. People are not projects, they are people. Let's collaborate with people. They need help if they are depressed, maybe even help from a psychiatrist, but they need to be careful about it. Sometimes even medical help if necessary.
As a church, we need to work together to help people who are self-harming. Offer them hospitality, invite them to read the Bible together, walk the dog, knit together, that is, spend time, be involved.
Returning to Andrey, we can ask: how are you feeling? What kind of pain are you experiencing? How do you feel when your father hits you? Are you tired at work? How do you feel at home? I want to get to know you better.
Pray together. It is possible to keep a diary to understand when self-harm occurs and what precedes it. To understand what their wrong beliefs are - about God, about the world. They may think that God doesn't love them, the world doesn't love them. Listen to what they talk about, who they spend time with. We are influenced by our environment.
And two more points “Speak” and “Do”.
We must pray, we are dependent on God. We must sincerely pray for the people I work with. But not only my words, but the main thing is what God does. We must cry with those who cry, find words of consolation. As it is written in Romans, to be angry at injustice. As Amos says, talk about gospel hope. So that people can be sure that if they are with Christ, it is wonderful. Let's put into practice the words from Chapter 1. Ephesians. We need to say that people are chosen, even before the beginning of time you were already in God's plan. You are accepted, adopted by the blood of Christ. You are safe in His family. The Holy Spirit is within you. A wonderful eternity with God awaits you. We need to identify ourselves correctly.
Eph. 4. Let's leave the old man, start a new life, behave in a new way. Trust in Christ more. And let's be practical. Let's help them fight temptations. Put on spiritual clothing (Eph. 6). Help put temptations to sleep (Timothy 2).
Perhaps Andrey should change the sales floor, where he communicates with clients, to a warehouse room, where he will feel safe, where there will not be so much pressure on him.
And there needs to be accountability. Often, if I'm working with someone who is self-harming, I'll ask for some kind of agreement. A short one that says that if a person wants to harm himself, he does three things:
- I will write about this to three people
- I will remember the verse I learned this month;
- I'll go walk the dog (write a poem, bake something, just run, etc.).
Something that can distract them and give you time to do something if a specific action is needed. There needs to be accountability, and some kind of distraction if someone falls into this self-harm trap. Sometimes you need the first step. And sometimes the gap is huge. And it’s difficult to get out of this trap on your own. Such people definitely need support on their path. Someone who will say they believe in them.
Think about what specific actions you can take in the 4 steps of Love, Talk, Know, Do.
Finally, I want to reiterate that there is hope for people who self-harm. I am living proof that there is a future in situations like this. There is always hope. And you have God. And he will not allow you to bear more than you can bear. He will definitely help you cope with difficulties. You need to hold on to the Scriptures, love the people around you.
We are talking about the fact that it takes a sufficient amount of time to help them find a solution to the current situation. We must remember that you do not have to do this alone. And not only God’s help must be present, but also the people around you. When I was going through this period, I met someone along the way who listened to me for over an hour every day at some point in my recovery, and this was a huge help to me, but it doesn’t always happen that way, and it doesn’t have to be that way.
If we talk about the agreement that I mentioned, then you also need to be careful here. It should not look like if a person has violated the terms of the agreement, then you will no longer help him. No. Just think about how you can encourage him to continue, encourage him to act in a new way, but not to leave, not to give up what he started, not to give up on God.
Everything should be individual, based on the needs of the person with whom you are communicating, and remember that you will not find better help anywhere than in the Bible. For everyone, the Bible is the only unconditional option at all times.
Helen Thorne amazonaws.com translation helpforheart.org
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