Polysemy of the term
There are many meanings for the word “goat” in dictionaries. These include:
- A horned male is a domestic or wild ruminant animal that belongs to the class of mammals and the family of bovids. (Sasha found information in the encyclopedia that the Siberian mountain goat is the main prey of leopards).
- In sports, a gymnastic apparatus used to perform a vault, differing from a horse in that it is shorter in length and does not have handles. (Andrei was extremely upset - in physical education class he once again failed to jump over the goat).
- In metallurgy, the name for solidified cast iron that remains on the walls of a blast furnace. (The master explained to the students: “It’s no wonder that after thirty years of work in the forge of a blast furnace, over time a crust weighing 300 tons was formed, and it’s called a “goat”).
- In aviation, a term similar to “jumping,” which refers to the jumping of an airplane during its landing. (Despite the experience of the pilot, it was still not possible to avoid the high-speed goat during landing).
- One of the chemical-technological terms that is used to describe defects formed during the production of cast plexiglass is similar to the term “fish eye”. (Unfortunately, the last batch of plexiglass was not without a goat).
- One of the variants of the symbols of Satan in devil mania. (On his left forearm the guy had a tattoo depicting Baphomet, which is the official symbol of the Church of Satan, which is popularly called a goat).
However, the ambiguity of the word we are considering does not end there. But it is already in a slightly different area than those discussed above - this is the “conversational genre” and jargon.
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“K*ozel – Symbol of debauchery; a hidden threat and simply a “bad person.” If you are gored by a goat in a dream, it means that someone is taking advantage of your gullibility. Feed the goat, trust an unreliable person. Also the “scapegoat” on whom all the bad things fall.” Italian dream book Meneghetti K*ozel - A symbol of aggressive eroticism without a vital basis. The image may denote obsession with sexual intercourse. The image of a goat indicates the action of cerebral programs without the inclusion of vital internal psycho-emotional needs
Primary goat characteristics
Women have ongoing and extensive problems with men, whom they derogatorily call assholes. Some of the ladies are already completely desperate for this reason.
- My first husband was a goat, my second husband was also a goat, and the third... - so finally a rare kaaazlina! -Are you stupid, or what? Do you marry assholes all the time? - Don't be stupid! It's just that they are all kaazls...
All men are assholes! This is the problem in nature: there are goats, but there is no love.
What kind of paradox is this? Mothers raise such excellent sons, they are so proud of them, and over time, they all grow up to be goats. Maybe something can be improved in mothers?..
By the way, there are people who, due to their poor advancement and banal erudition, do not quite clearly imagine what is meant by this term? For these, a small clarification: The vast majority of individuals of the subspecies “Homo cozlinus vulgaris domesticus” (Latin - ordinary goat man, domestic) are characterized by women as “mean, lustful, walking, greedy, selfish, uncouth, infantile, narrow-minded, unkempt louts, insatiable fat-bellied gluttons, drunkards, in a word - kaaazly.” This category of “clever, beautiful women” also often includes “failed, unsuccessful, not self-sufficient, unsure of themselves and their wallets” men, as well as obvious bastards, weaklings and suckers. It’s impossible to list all the signs in a short article!
But the worst thing is: not a single goat wants to get married! This is a special goat trait and one of the most important! Therefore, every smart, beautiful woman should solve this problem first and foremost and without delay! Put this question to your prince squarely: “First get married, then love!” Oh how!
At the same time, in reality, this situation does not at all prevent the fair sex from behaving in accordance with the motto of the ancient Roman hetaeras: men in Rome, of course, are goats, however, a man is needed every day! Therefore, don’t get hung up on it, but use the goat and be glad that there is at least one!
People say that if you want to know a person, give him money, power or fame. However, this is not a feasible option. Especially for women. And why would they share these values with someone? Not enough for ourselves!
Therefore, “smart beauties” need to have in their arsenal more subtle, less expensive and absolutely non-destructive methods of cognition. And if you add observational skills to these methods, as well as a minimum amount of knowledge on the analysis and synthesis of the collected data, then you can quickly and easily calculate all the goats at once!
This is where knowledge about goat traits becomes in demand, which can be roughly divided into four large categories:
- primary goat characteristics; - secondary goat characteristics; - tertiary goat characteristics; - special goat characteristics.
These groups of signs differ from each other in the degree of accessibility and duration of identification, as well as the level of reliability and significance.
It should be noted that it is advisable to divide men according to these characteristics only starting from their puberty. (Although many can be classified as Homo goatlinus almost from the cradle!) But in no case should their mothers be informed about the obtained characteristics! Because after such confessions they can simply scratch your eyes out. Although, it must be admitted that among mothers there are some very surprising exceptions.
What are the primary symptoms?
These are purely external signs. To receive them, there is no need to communicate with the object verbally or in any other way. It is enough to carefully observe and analyze.
She came, she saw, she knew. (Motto of the ancient Roman hetaeras) So, what signs do goats have? How to recognize them and protect yourself from communicating with them?
Here are a dozen true primary signs by which you can immediately identify a goat.
1. Goats have horns, although they may not be immediately noticeable at first glance. Many goats do not even suspect that they have horns and, on this basis, vehemently deny their presence.
Almost every man has horns, but they don’t notice it. Some goats see that they have horns, but cannot understand where they came from. What is their source of origin? 2. Goats have dirty, sometimes tattered hair, ugly, fagot beards, a bald head or glasses. And some individuals also have a short, piquantly raised tail.
Hornless goat vulgaris domesticus.
3. Goats exude special odorous substances, which are called pheromones on women's websites. It must be admitted that goat pheromones have such a disgusting smell that even the goats themselves do not like it. Not only their underwear, but also their outerwear is saturated with these pheromones. Therefore, for camouflage, a pronounced goat should shower and shave twice a day, and change underwear, shirts and other clothes once a day.
In addition, goatfish also smell like tobacco, alcohol and garlic-onion fumes, natural body secretions, fuels and lubricants, as well as other unspeakably vile odors.
Some cunning people mask their pheromones and stench with thorough washing, perfume and other purely feminine tricks. This is a special breed of homo-goatlings - metrosexual goats. In this way they try to camouflage their true essence. But in vain! Half an hour later they have the same bouquet of aromas again.
4. The goat has a homeless, shabby appearance, is unkempt, unkempt, and has hooves instead of nails. Therefore, if any gentleman tries to hide his hands under the table all the time, rest assured that in front of you is a real goat. A big belly is also a sure sign.
5. You should definitely pay attention to men's shoes, trousers and other clothes. Goats often take off their shoes because... she presses on their hooves. And then all doubts are immediately dispelled. Save yourself, who can! Goats don't wear trousers. Why? Yes, because they chew their trousers first and then put them on!
Haute couture goat boots.
6. Goat exterior also includes: dirty, matted or curled hair, three hairs in different directions or a bald spot with a sheen, shedding of dandruff, bushy eyebrows and hair in the ears. Unclean, spotted, flabby skin, bluish appearance, red nose, empty, meaningless, wandering gaze.
7. Super sign. If you look closely at how a gentleman eats, you will notice that his jaws move strictly vertically: up and down, up and down. But goats, in addition to vertical ones, also make horizontal movements with their jaws. In addition, they can also slap their lips, slurp, and sometimes saliva or foam drips from their lower lip. This is what all ruminants do when grinding food.
8. A goat at the table, as a rule, picks his teeth, of which he does not have many, with a fork or hoof; he wipes his mouth with his sleeve, blows his nose into the wind, burps noisily, and can, unexpectedly for those around him, emit winds, quack, groan, and even take off his footcloths altogether.
Disgusting and awkward movement dynamics.
9. The dynamics of movements include: gait, posture, facial expressions, gestures, correct breathing and adequacy of eye movements, etc. (If the object begins to wiggle its ears, try to raise an imaginary enemy on its horns, or moo, stomp its hooves, then everything is clear to a no brainer. And a waddling gait does not mean at all that he is a bad dancer. There are problems with the musculoskeletal system.)
Understanding the language of dynamics provides simply fantastic knowledge about an object, but a large amount of information on this topic deserves a separate post, which will be done a little later. In this regard, it is very useful to familiarize yourself with articles on physiognomy. (Physiognomy is the art of determining the moral qualities and abilities of a person by his external characteristics, i.e., by facial features and expression, etc.)
Content, correctness and dynamics of speech.
10. You look: he doesn’t seem to be a freak, he’s dressed decently, and smells of expensive perfume. But when he starts talking... “Mom, dear!.. Either stand or fall!” Mat-remat, “ezyg padonkaf”, speech impediments, something on the face is sure to twitch, endless spitting at your feet, and the content... It feels like a bucket of slop was poured on you. Therefore, many of the goats try not to open their mouths again and convince everyone that a real man is a man of few words. But there is a sure sign: if a man is laconic, then most likely he is just a fool.
. A man's reaction to women and their appearance.
11. It’s no secret what feminine charms a man looks at first, then second, and so on, in turn. Where a man looks, these are his thoughts. (Tetcorax) (A gentleman will never brazenly paw at a lady with his eyes - it’s indecent!)
There is no need to follow the eyes of the vulgar goat. You should carefully watch his face during this period. Because emotions on the face. You need to understand the language of emotions. At least seven basic human emotions must be determined accurately. It is not difficult to understand the difference between, say, expressions of surprise and contempt. The first means “the goat is slain,” the second means “not slain” (to put it mildly).
Well, and The last but not least - Material sign. That is, what the goat has with him.
12. Well, everyone here understands what we’re talking about. It’s one thing when a prince has a white German Porsche racehorse and another when he has a rusty little nag.
In addition to what has been said, we must also add that goats have a highly developed herd instinct. Goats are susceptible to movement. They become especially noticeable and unbearable when they gather in groups and flocks, move around in crowds of all kinds of fans and constantly try to outdo each other in goatiness. It turns them on. Why does it seem like there are only goats around?
At least, the majority. There is an infection of goatism in the crowd, and even a normal person can quickly turn into such a monster.
God! Thank you for creating men, but why did you make them such goats? (Tetkorax. Women's prayer.)
This is how the artist depicted a typical teenage goat.
A young goat is trying to seduce a girl.
Tetkorax
From here
Lara_Liberty
Men's talk
Among other meanings, “goats” appear to us in the following guises:
- In a figurative sense, this is a swear word that means a slow-witted, mean-spirited and very unpleasant person. (Marina instructed her son in a stern voice: “Remember, Yura, even if a person is unpleasant to you, has done something bad to you, this is not a reason to stoop to his level and call him a goat.”
- This is the name of the Soviet all-terrain vehicle GAZ-69, as well as the UAZ-469. (Finally, the necessary advertisement was found in the newspaper: “I am selling a frame for GAZ-69 (goat), we will agree on the price”).
- The name of the game is dominoes and also cards. (An article on the Internet said that learning to play goat in dominoes is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance).
- The name of the person who lost in the specified game. (Sergei was already tired of being a goat, and he decided to quit playing dominoes for today).
Purebred goat
This is the most common type of goat in the modern world. How many times have I come across such individuals? I've already lost count. One of them works in our office, the second lives with me on the landing. People call them majors, posers, narcissists. But isn’t this a direct designation of a purebred goat?
Main characteristics:
• Attractive appearance • Highly paid job • Presence of show-offs
My cat's name was Pasha. He turned out to be thoroughbred and trained, so he easily gave his hoof and responded with an abstruse bleat. For the first time he showed his goatish behavior in a cafe during a date: he said that I would pay for it myself, since we “live in the modern world.” Later it turned out that Pasha was closer to the so-called free love. Narcissus was so fascinated by his own “I” that sometimes it seemed to me: if he had a penis of not a frail 16, but, say, 36 cm, then he would fuck exclusively with himself. Girls, don't be fooled by sleek guys! They all have a big skeleton in their closet that will come out once you start living together. There will be nagging for any reason - they will humiliate you, point out your imperfections. Remember that no narcissist is worth the loss of your self-esteem!
In plural
When this word is used in the plural - “goats”, it also means the following:
- The front part of a horse-drawn carriage on which the driver sits. (“Sanka, don’t sleep, move, sit down on the box quickly, otherwise we’ll be late,” the lady went bankrupt).
- A construction device used when working at low heights. (“Guys, be careful on the trestles there, the height is still quite high,” the elderly foreman carefully admonished the builders).
- A device used for sawing wood. (Having laid out the firewood on the trestles and busily rubbing his hands, the stocky man prepared to prepare firewood for the winter).
- A device that is used when driving on roads that do not have a hard surface. (On country roads they use rolls for driving cattle, called “goats”).
Flattering goat
Another common type of goat in human form.
Main characteristics:
• Languid speech • Excellent charisma • Lots of problems
Kostya was incredibly elegant. In appearance, you can’t even say that he is “even-hoofed”: a hairstyle like Sasha Bely’s, the languid gaze of Elvis Presley and a voice that penetrates through the ears straight into a woman’s heart. This makes even the most unapproachable person bleed! Sex with a flattering asshole is usually so good that after the tenth time you start to feel sick from the abundance of orgasms. It is simply impossible to resist the charm of such a guy. But it’s impossible until he slowly starts to sit on your neck: “Darling, borrow it for travel, I left my wallet at home.” “Honey, I’m looking for a job, be patient a little, because I’m a specialist!” “They want to dismember me for debts, take a loan, huh?” "I died. Don’t call me.” Each remark of the flattering brute is permeated with emotions, which are equally influenced by both young females and hardened aunts. Darlings, how I struggled! She covered her ears, turned off her phones, changed the locks on the doors. But even after I sent him on foot to the erotic, the goat named Kostya did not stop dripping on my brains. It ended when I ran out of money.
Phraseologisms
Here are examples of phraseological units and stable phrases with the word being studied:
- High-speed (non-speed) goat - in aviation, a jump of an aircraft during landing at an increased (reduced or normal) speed.
- Standing on a sawhorse is a colloquial, slang expression for raising the front wheels of a vehicle - a car, bicycle, motorcycle.
- To tear a goat is, in common parlance, to sing ineptly, in an unpleasant voice.
- To score a goat is a slang term for playing dominoes.
- Like milk from a goat - a saying denoting the insufficiency of the benefit brought, the return.
- Local collapse is the technical term for a partial collapse that occurs in a reactor core.
- Letting a goat into the garden is a saying that hints that it is undesirable to allow a person to go where he can act in his own selfish interests.
- Construction goat - see above.
Family goat
This most popular type appeared before me after my wedding with Sasha. The family goat first comes across as a great guy: he works, loves children, his mother and future mother-in-law, gives you gifts and even gives you foot massages. His goatishness begins to appear in a deeper phase of the relationship - during family life.
Main characteristics:
• Drinks • Yells • Snores
The family rogue, as a rule, immediately takes his position in the family: “I am the leading member, I hold the cards.” He’s a member, of course, a member, but he’s not much of a witch. He pretended to be Domostroevsky’s dad when he lay with a can of beer in front of the TV and forced him to twirl his butt, wiping dust from this very TV. Sexual life with such a representative of the “strong” sex comes to naught after a year of marriage. That’s when I was drawn to Tolya – another cloven-hoofed creature!
Scapegoat
Let us consider separately the widespread expression “scapegoat”, the meaning of which, however, is not clear to everyone. This phrase, taken from the Old Testament, implies that the goat in this case is a special animal. After a symbolic Jewish ritual, during which the sins of the entire people were, as it were, laid upon him, he was taken into the desert.
In Christian theologians, for example in John the Baptist, one can find an interpretation of this phrase as a prototype of the self-sacrifice of Jesus Christ, called the Lamb of God and taking upon himself of his own free will all the sins of the world. Today they say this about a person whom they want to make guilty without guilt.
Varieties of goats among men
They are everywhere. Public transport, office centers, private homes - any place is inhabited by vile people, whose soul resembles the face of a cunning goat. However, this animal is much more noble than the representatives of the “stronger” sex, who want to seem like real men, but in fact are just their pathetic parody.
There are several varieties of them, but only one thing unites them all: the representative of each is a cattle. The cattle are rare, which is sometimes very difficult to expose. My experience with goats gives me the right to highlight several types of these “animals”, each of which I want to tell all the girls about.
Goat open
Egg carriers of this type even command respect for their courage - they do not hide the fact that they are assholes. An open goat attracts victims precisely through unscrupulousness and rudeness.
Main characteristics:
• Unshaven • Unwashed • Fucks well
This goat is perhaps the most male there is. Only the male is not even a primate, but a small ruminant. However, he gives the impression of a confident, brutal guy who will surround you with strength and charm. I had this Tolya. The only way he could take a woman in the end was intense sex. His intellectual abilities are practically zero, so a more or less intelligent girl will quickly get bored with him. Girls, if a sweaty “animal” with blurred eyes approaches you, do not be fooled by its ostentatious brutality - inside there is a typical goat’s face, nothing interesting.
What is the devil afraid of?
Fears
Christian cross, sign and holy water. Disappears with the third rooster crow and the first rays of the sun.
Interesting materials:
Why is Slavic hair valued? Why Tugarin Zmey? Why Pumpkin for Halloween? Why is pumpkin a symbol of Halloween? Why do money tree leaves become soft? Why does Jupiter have a strong magnetic field? Why does bread have a sticky crumb? Why do my headphones often break? Why have my breasts become smaller? Why did my silver cross turn black?
Well-read goat
The most pleasant guy for me! His whole vile essence is veiled by erudition, wit and philosophy. Can't a goat be smart?
Main characteristics:
• Elegant • Smart • Bastard
I once thought that applicant Vasya simply cannot be an asshole! With a thin beard and huge glasses, he seemed to me a real genius. He was a genius at seducing girls into sex without obligation, over a conversation while preparing for exams. In the future, this type, as a rule, marries and becomes a true snob, wasting all his individuality in reading tabloid newspapers. A loser in life, the well-read goat remains a brute for all the women who are around him, because he doesn’t know how to earn money and can no longer caress him. If you want to discourage such an egg-bearer, just become a bitch. Good boys, excellent students, do not like bitches and themselves lag behind such ones. However, you will become a bitch in this life anyway.
