What should parents do if their child is being bullied at school?

06/11/2017 Crimes against life and health 12 comments

School conflicts are not uncommon in any class, even if it is the most elite school, there will be a couple of peers who will demonstrate superiority in physical strength over others or hide behind the influence of their parents. This behavior adversely affects the psychological state of other children, who begin to fear other people's threats and refuse to go to classes. The task of every parent is to protect their child, which means they should know what to do if you are threatened at school.

A child is being threatened: what should be done first?

The very first thing to do in this situation is to draw the attention of the class teacher and the administration of the educational institution to the fact that such situations do occur. A statement is written to the school principal with a request to protect your child from students who exhibit criminal tendencies and to take measures to eliminate such behavior in the future. As a rule, on the basis of such a request, meetings are held between school management and parents of children who threaten others, conversations with a psychologist directly with those against whom the complaint was received, and other educational measures. Often this is enough to resolve the situation, since educational institutions do not want the conflict to spread.

To reassure your child and provide him with constant support and protection, you can buy a mobile phone with a tracking function and a built-in panic button.

Important! At first, until the situation calms down, it is better to meet the child on the way home from school. If we are talking about a teenager who, due to his age, categorically refuses this, make meetings “random”, periodically alternating with relatives.

What to do if children are in danger

baby crying

Probably every second resident of our country can say about their home: “Oh, my neighbor yells at the children so much, they cry all the time.” Unfortunately, in such a situation, not every person will be able to behave correctly. Of course, little children tend to cry
and scream - they are cold, hungry, scared, wet.
how to express their emotions
in any other way. A child’s crying is not at all a reason to sound the alarm and contact the police, much less the guardianship authorities.

First of all, we recommend asking

from the neighbors themselves, how are things going with raising their children? Mothers on maternity leave will more than provide you with information about the life and development of her little miracle, with all the details. And at the same time they will receive an additional boost of energy from communicating with an adult.

If such a situation does not appear to you even in your thoughts, all you have to do is listen

to what is happening on the other side of the apartment.
A reason to pay attention may be the scream
of parents in response to a child’s crying, accompanied by screams,
rumbling
, sounds of breaking dishes.
Well, and similar unusual phenomena. If something similar happens and you think that the children need help, feel free to contact the police
. For example, to the local police officer. The guardianship authorities at this stage, unfortunately, do not play any role.

Big trouble

A completely different situation arises if a drinking party gathers in an apartment with small children, it is difficult to find the parents sober, the children are dirty, hungry, and dressed inappropriately for the season. A child loves his parents freely and independently, but such a situation is a good reason to try to change the lives of children for the better. We strongly recommend contacting the police - the local police officer, or better yet through 02/102 or 112. Police departments for minors try to keep such cases under control, and if necessary, they will certainly transmit information to the guardianship authorities.

Powers and Capabilities

It is no coincidence that we draw your attention to the fact that in cases where children are in danger, it is necessary to contact the police

.
The department, as a guardianship body, is a small cog in the system for preventing
neglect and juvenile delinquency.
The primary link in this chain is the OPDN
- the police department for minors. The functions of identifying the cases described above are assigned by law to the police, and we, unfortunately, are forced to transfer all the information that comes to us there.

A Department specialist can travel to the place of residence indicated in the information independently

.
But, unfortunately, he may simply not be allowed
into the house. Without the police, we have no reason to enter and inspect the homes of citizens against their will. And this is a lot of wasted time without getting results. Sometimes it's also dangerous.

Police officers must pass information to the guardianship authorities

at the moment when it becomes clear that dialogue with parents will not bring results, the children are in a
socially dangerous situation
and strict measures must be taken to
control
the family.

More detailed information can be found on the page of our website “The direction of our work is Protecting the Rights of Children.”

Should you contact the police if you receive threats at school?

If the above measures did not help, which also often happens when it comes to high school teenagers, and the threats have become more cruel, then you should move on to more decisive actions. It is worth remembering that a threat is a type of psychological violence, and the legislation of the Russian Federation provides for various measures to protect citizens from this type of attack. Therefore, if a student is threatened by peers or high school students, you can count on the help of law enforcement agencies. Just before contacting them, it is best to contact a lawyer who will assess the legal side of the situation. After all, there are cases for which even punishment is provided under the Criminal Code (if, of course, the offenders are over 16 years old).

To submit an application, you must come to the police station, where the local police officer must accept it. The document must clearly, without unnecessary emotions, state the reason for the appeal and the essence of the request. An application is written addressed to the head of the department, drawn up in two copies (one of them, which remains with you, will be marked with acceptance of the document).

What to do if threats and intimidation result in bruises or abrasions

If a child is threatened, and after another school day he comes home from school with bruises or abrasions, he must urgently go to the nearest emergency room. The doctor will record the presence of bodily injuries (beatings), even if they are of mild severity, and this certificate will need to be attached to the application to the police.

Important! If threats turn into assault, the police will not leave the matter unattended, and depending on the degree of harm caused to the child’s health, further filing of a claim for damages is possible (for a minor, his parents bear such responsibility).

What to do if a child is bullied

You can often hear the question: what to do if someone next to you beats or humiliates a child? Pass by? Don’t pay attention, they’ll figure it out on their own? Or intervene to stop child abuse?

This is not the easiest question. If we see that a crime (and physical violence is always a crime) is being committed by people who are strangers to the child, we are obliged to intervene. In this situation, there are no parents nearby who could defend the interests of the child. You may be the only person who can help your child in this situation.

If violence is used against a child, you cannot remain indifferent, but you need to act with a cool head and according to the situation. There is no point in arguing with offenders and lecturing them about raising children. Firstly, it will not change their attitude towards the child; secondly, there is a chance that it will cause even more anger. Have you decided to intervene? First ask: “How can I help you?” This will reduce the level of aggression and redirect attention. Perhaps the person needs help and support.

Do you think that the life and health of a child is in danger right now? Call the police at 02 or the unified duty dispatch service at 112.

It is more difficult to decide whether to intervene if the child is being abused by his parents or loved ones. After all, they are the ones who should be responsible for the safety and health of the child, for his psychological well-being. But, unfortunately, parents do not always have enough wisdom, patience, knowledge, and mental strength to act like a Parent in difficult situations - consciously and with respect.

Domestic violence is a topic that is increasingly becoming the subject of discussion. If we close our eyes and pretend that there are no problems in the world, they will never be solved.

Perhaps young parents cannot cope with new responsibilities or the mother has experienced emotional burnout. It happens that the father shows aggression, so both the child and the mother need help.

Many children are beaten by their parents. Some are spanked with a belt for bad grades, others are left with wounds and bruises. Domestic violence is unacceptable in any form.

It is also our responsibility to report violence against a minor to the police. If you regularly hear screams, children crying, or sounds characteristic of a fight behind your wall, you are obliged to report a possible crime against a minor to the police - 02 or by calling the unified duty dispatch service - 112. Even if the violence is committed by parents or other people close to the child.

If others begin to broadcast a negative attitude towards violence, the parent will understand that this is not the norm. And that he failed as a parent and needs help.

Minors, just like adults, can defend their rights. Especially in cases where there is no one else to protect. At any age, a child has the right to file a statement with the police or call police officers to the scene of a crime, including the right to report the commission of a crime by his parents or other relatives and ask for protection.

In addition, a minor who has reached the age of 10 years, in relation to whom illegal actions have been committed by his parents, may be placed in the state government social service institution of the Krasnodar Territory “Krasnodar Social Rehabilitation Center for Minors” (Gagarin St., 186 ) by personal request.

Concerned neighbors noticed a little boy playing in the corner of the entrance with a car. As it turned out, the child was put out on the stairs by the parents, the baby was preventing them from drinking in the company of friends.

Officers from the police department of the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs in the city of Krasnodar immediately responded to the alarm and took the baby from his very drunk and insane parents. The boy was placed in a social rehabilitation center for minors. This story is just one of those situations where caring people may have saved the life of a child.

In the city of Krasnodar, the assistant to the Commissioner for Children's Rights in the Krasnodar Territory operates (Severnaya str., 279, room 68, tel. 2518645). In his work, the Assistant Commissioner interacts with all structures for the prevention of neglect and juvenile delinquency and provides assistance in the field of protecting the rights and legitimate interests of minors.

Sometimes it is difficult for children or teenagers to decide to have a frank conversation with their parents, as they are afraid to face misunderstanding, abuse and reproaches for wrong behavior. Not all children are able to communicate with mom and dad as with best friends, and sometimes in order to share painful things, they need someone from the outside. If there is no one nearby who can help with advice or just listen, helpline specialists will come to help.

Using a children's helpline, a child or teenager can share absolutely any problem that concerns them with a specialist at the other end of the line. These could be difficulties in relationships with parents or peers, bad grades at school, various fears, worries about failures, quarrels with a boyfriend or girlfriend, emotional difficulties during first love, the need to get help in matters of sex education. There are cases when children call the helpline who want to talk about abuse from parents or strangers, sexual or psychological violence (children's helpline with a single all-Russian number: 8-800-2000-122; ministry hotline Education of the Russian Federation: 8-800-555-89-81; round-the-clock emergency psychological assistance to children, adolescents, youth).

Today, the children's helpline is a real lifesaver for children and teenagers who find themselves in a difficult situation and want answers to their questions, as well as for parents who do not know how to help their children.

Attitudes towards violence in raising children need to change. And every citizen can contribute to this through a conscious parental position and the formation of intolerance towards violence. Don't be indifferent!

Threats and intimidation in legislation

The legislation provides for different methods of combating bullying, but it all depends on the circumstances and what exactly the child is being threatened with. For example, if the intimidation concerned the infliction of grievous bodily harm, and there were absolutely real reasons not to doubt their implementation, then this act is considered as “criminal” and is subject to liability under Art. 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.

Not every intimidation and not every case where a student is threatened (by a classmate, a high school student, a school employee, or the parents of another student) is subject to criminal law. An important nuance here is to determine whether the threat is sufficient to initiate a case? One of the criteria is how realistically the victim child perceives the seriousness of the threats and is confident in their feasibility. After all, serious harm to health is the loss of an organ (or cessation of its functioning), facial disfigurement, serious damage to the head, loss of the ability to move independently, etc. Often, those who intimidate and threaten, to confirm the reality of their threats, resort to causing minor bodily harm, showing that that this is just the beginning. These injuries must be recorded by a doctor.

A psychologist told how to respond to threats to a child from peers at school

With alarming regularity, gangs of aggressive teenagers attack peers or strangers and brutally beat them. Another incident of violence occurred in St. Petersburg, where eight schoolchildren beat a 14-year-old boy. Even after the beating, the peers did not leave the child alone and continued to threaten and harass. Psychologist Natalya Naumova explained in a commentary to FAN why some children are prone to violence and what parents should do if their child is threatened at school.

The attack on the child occurred on April 17. Eight teenagers began to chase the student and then beat him. The boy was admitted to the hospital with numerous abrasions and hematomas. The reason for the attack was a long-standing conflict between schoolchildren, the reason for which the children did not disclose. The injured child was transferred to another school, but the attackers continue to pursue him.

According to the psychologist, teenagers gather in groups to feel more significant and confident. In such groups there is always a leader who imposes his idea on other teenagers.

“It is very important for teenagers to feel strong and important, for this they unite in groups. Sometimes they form groups not because they agree with an opinion, but to avoid being weak. Groups have a leader. If a leader is offended by some child, he has an idea why this person should be taken up against. Then the teenagers unite against the victim, they believe that they have a common goal, an idea,” the psychologist explained.

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Some teens may realize that violence is not acceptable. But if they refuse or object, violence will be unleashed against them.

“The leader who managed to organize so many people was most likely himself subjected to violence and felt injustice. Now he needs to work out this pattern in order to close the gestalt. But since the child does not realize why he shows violence, the gestalt does not close. Such teenagers need psychotherapy, then their need for cruelty disappears,” added Naumova.

The psychologist also told what parents should do if their child is threatened by other teenagers.

“We live in a legal society. We have many organizations that protect people. If a person is in trouble, he is threatened, he always knows what to do. Just as an adult protects himself, one can also protect a child, on the same grounds,” the expert concluded.

Previously, a case of beating a child occurred in the Novosibirsk region - a high school student beat a friend. The incident was recorded on a phone camera in video format, which was later posted on social networks. According to preliminary information, the filming was carried out by guys, since male voices were heard in the background of the fight.